Perfectly Imperfect!

I am a perfectly imperfect mom!

           

Sometimes I get obsessed in trying to make things "perfect" for my kids! 

I have learned in my journey of motherhood that perfect does not exist.
I have learned this by trial and error.
I wore myself thin trying to go above and beyond to create a fantasy for my children.
When it comes to birthdays, holidays, special events and even cleaning their rooms ( I don't clean their rooms anymore) I have always made everything appear like it was done magically.
It's like I was putting on a presentation and making a production out of everything.

Well, all of that got tiring after a few years.
Maybe during those years I was obsessing to try and prove to myself that I was a good mom.
The truth is that I did not need all of the bells and whistles to prove that I was a good mom.
I could have saved a lot of time and energy, my energy would have have been best used to engage more with my children. I did a great job in making everything appear magical for my children to see when they walked through the doors. However, the truth is that once the actual reveal of the surprise happened I was so tired because I spent most of my energy creating the fantasy.

I learned that "perfect" does not exist and my children do not care about having a perfect mom.
My children value my presence over everything.
I also no longer have the need to put on a presentation or make a production out of everything. 
Whatever I do now, I do it with ease and I know that my kids will be thankful.
When they look back on their childhood they won't remember the "perfect" party I threw for them. My kids will remember the time we spend together making memories.

Anyway, this is my truth about my journey.
Thanks for reading!

Helicopter Mom!

                                       

I will be the first to admit that I am a "helicopter mom" You know the type of mom I am talking about. That mom who is always watching and monitoring every aspect of their child's life. The type of mom that knows where their child is and who they are with. The mom who is the driving force when it comes to academics. The type of mom who is the counselor and the priest.  I am talking about door to door pickup and drop offs and no sleep overs except at their grandparents home. No play dates at their friends home unless I am present. I am talking about random phone checks when ever and where ever. Finally, I am that mom that will pounce like a momma bear if her cub is in danger. I am a advocate for my child and will always speak up for them. Yes I am a helicopter mom!

Now that I admit it, lets talk about the the pros and cons of being a helicopter mom.


Pros

The best thing about being a "helicopter mom" is that I know that the best interest of my children always comes first. I always know where they are and who they are with. Safety is very important for a child well being and their over all development. Also, I want my children to know that I am always there for them. Being present for my children is important to me and I know it makes a difference. They know without a doubt that they have my full support. Being a helicopter mom my motive is not to be controlling or intrusive in my children's lives. My motive is to love, protect and guide them. At the end of the day it's about having happy and healthy children.


Cons

So lets talk about the cons of being an "helicopter mom" The first con that I recognized right away is that being a helicopter parent can take away a child's independence. Doing everything for my children won't fly in the real world. They will need to learn to do things on their own, and navigate their way in the world. My children are teenagers now and I have to allow them to fly a little so that they can find their path in life. I am learning to give trust and give freedom while keeping a watchful eye from a distance (a short distance). Ultimately, I realized that micromanaging my children will discourage their creativity and their ideas, and can also cause a child to not motivated to do anything. I am not saying that I will give my children total freedom to do whatever, but I will loosen up and give my children more independence. Independence makes a child feel empowered, I want to encourage that. This motivates me to step back and trust.

Don't Panic!!!!!!
Everything will be alright!
A small dose of independence won't be the end of the world. It's in our nature as moms to panic about every little thing, but we too need to step out of our comfort zone. There are certain rules and circumstances that I will continue to be stern on, but there are a small few that I will compromise on in the spirit of independence. I am finding my way through parenthood one day at a time. Best wishes to you on your journey of parenthood!