Do you ever feel like you are on a hamster wheel?

I get this feeling all the time, there is endless chores and the mommy gig is 24 hours a day.
More than that everything is just so repetitive. I get that routine can be a good thing, but honestly it gets so boring doing the same thing over and over again. It really feels like listening to a broken record that is stuck on the same word on repeat. It is super annoying and very frustrating, not to mention very draining. Is it too much to ask for a little spontaneity?

I love being a mom don't get me wrong, but a woman just need to let her hair down sometimes and LIVE! I want to continue to be that present mom and wife, and at the same time thrive as an individual and a woman. I am believe that I can have it all and I won't stop until I achieve balance in my life.
                                                       

                                               I WANT IT ALL!!!

Good Night Sleep Tight!

Most children sleep in their own beds.

However, for us the first five years our children slept in our bed.

We had the hardest time getting them to sleep in their own beds. 

The back and forth to their room was so draining, we just gave up and gave into them.

Four people in a queen size bed was not an ideal situation.

Needless to say my husband and I woke up with all types of aches and pains in our body. 

I often woke up with little feet in my face, and let's not talk about the kicking and slaps in my face. Not to mention that it put a damper on our love life. 

My son was five years old and my daughter was 3 years old when we decided that this had to end. 

I was not up for the back and forth to and from their room. 

Finally we just put a television in their room so that they could watch cartoons until they fell asleep.

Please don't judge us for that but we were disparate. Luckily, it worked out for us, our children fell asleep and we turned off the television. We kept up this routine until we slowly transition them into going to sleep without the television. 

Bedtime was a struggle but thankfully we got through it. We got our bed back and we got our private time back.                                 

                                         

                                                            

Our Unintentional Tradition Became A Intentional Tradition

                                               
  Family Traditions!

Some years ago, an unintentional tradition was born in our family.
Everyone knows that nationally in the United States that the day after Thanksgiving is "Black Friday"
This is the day the retail store start the Christmas season with a big bang!
Some have big sales and bargains, luring thousands of customers to come out and spend their money.
It is a very exciting time for many customers to get the bargain that they want.
Who doesn't like a bargain! Everyone enjoy saving money.

However, for my family on " Black Friday" we like to sleep in and wake up around noon.
We eat left overs for breakfast, after our tummies are satisfied then we lounge around for 30 mins to an hour. After we have rested from our meal, we put on Christmas music and unpack the Christmas tree and decorations. My children and I set up our tree and decorate it. together. This routine is something that stuck with us and we soon realized that we unintentionally started a tradition. Now, this has become our "Black Friday" tradition.

The reason why I write!

  WHY WRITING?


We all have a "thing"

By "thing" I mean something that bring calmness, focus or purpose to our lives.
That could be anything from music, sports, knitting, making model air planes etc...
The sky is the limit, some people may even call it a hobby.
I don't even know if there is a name for it.
All I know is that writing is my "thing"
Writing may be your "thing" too.


Ever since I can remember writing has always been my comfort place.
I love to create and express myself through writing.
I have been writing since I was a child.
I always kept a diary or journal with me. I think writing gave me an escape from my very difficult childhood. I was also very quiet and lonely as a child, I often felt unheard and unseen. Writing gave me my voice, I feel like I can speak through my writing. Also, being a stay at home mom for 16 years get lonely sometimes. Writing is like medicine to my soul, it is a form of therapy to me. Writing has also been a outlet to express my creativity. This is why writing is my "thing"
                                                   
What is your thing?

                                         
                                                           

My Fondest Memory Of My Children

 Do you have a extra special memory of your child?
I am sure that you have many special moments with your child.
I too shared many wonderful memories and special moments with both of my children.
Raising my children has been an adventure, I have watched in awe as they blossomed.
I am happy that I had opportunity to be there to witness all of the milestones.


                                                            💓💓💓💓💓💓



My son is my first born child, It was just the two of us when my husband went off to work. One of my favorite memories of he and I was our cuddle time sitting on the sofa. That was our time! It was our routine to cuddle while watching his favorite show The Wiggles. In that moment nothing mattered, but the love between mother and son. Cuddles, hugs and his favorite television show was all we needed. A mother and son's love is like none other.

My daughter is my second child, she is the baby in the family. I also have many beautiful memories with her. Like many little girls they love to dress up like a princess, my daughter was no different. She enjoyed dressing up like fairies and princesses. One of my fondest memories of my daughter is watching her get dress up with such excitement and a glow in her eyes. She would get her tea set and set the table for her and I. She poured tea for both of us and put a cookie on the plate. We sat down together and had a mommy and daughter tea party. That was our special time together, that moment  stood out in my mind because I saw how excited and happy she was. I enjoyed having kid like conversations with her and it was a hoot to watch her walk around in heels. It was so adorable! Having a tea party just the two of us was our love language to each other. To top it off we always ended our tea party with a hug, and I made sure to thank her for inviting me. The love between a mother and daughter runs very deep. 

I have plenty more special moments and memories with each of my children, A never ending list. These are just a few of many. I am sure that you have a never ending list as well. It's a blessing that we can look back on so many special moments that we shared with our children. I am sure that we will continue to have many more special moments with our children. The love and passion that we have for our children is a powerful force. 

Perfectly Imperfect!

I am a perfectly imperfect mom!

           

Sometimes I get obsessed in trying to make things "perfect" for my kids! 

I have learned in my journey of motherhood that perfect does not exist.
I have learned this by trial and error.
I wore myself thin trying to go above and beyond to create a fantasy for my children.
When it comes to birthdays, holidays, special events and even cleaning their rooms ( I don't clean their rooms anymore) I have always made everything appear like it was done magically.
It's like I was putting on a presentation and making a production out of everything.

Well, all of that got tiring after a few years.
Maybe during those years I was obsessing to try and prove to myself that I was a good mom.
The truth is that I did not need all of the bells and whistles to prove that I was a good mom.
I could have saved a lot of time and energy, my energy would have have been best used to engage more with my children. I did a great job in making everything appear magical for my children to see when they walked through the doors. However, the truth is that once the actual reveal of the surprise happened I was so tired because I spent most of my energy creating the fantasy.

I learned that "perfect" does not exist and my children do not care about having a perfect mom.
My children value my presence over everything.
I also no longer have the need to put on a presentation or make a production out of everything. 
Whatever I do now, I do it with ease and I know that my kids will be thankful.
When they look back on their childhood they won't remember the "perfect" party I threw for them. My kids will remember the time we spend together making memories.

Anyway, this is my truth about my journey.
Thanks for reading!

Helicopter Mom!

                                       

I will be the first to admit that I am a "helicopter mom" You know the type of mom I am talking about. That mom who is always watching and monitoring every aspect of their child's life. The type of mom that knows where their child is and who they are with. The mom who is the driving force when it comes to academics. The type of mom who is the counselor and the priest.  I am talking about door to door pickup and drop offs and no sleep overs except at their grandparents home. No play dates at their friends home unless I am present. I am talking about random phone checks when ever and where ever. Finally, I am that mom that will pounce like a momma bear if her cub is in danger. I am a advocate for my child and will always speak up for them. Yes I am a helicopter mom!

Now that I admit it, lets talk about the the pros and cons of being a helicopter mom.


Pros

The best thing about being a "helicopter mom" is that I know that the best interest of my children always comes first. I always know where they are and who they are with. Safety is very important for a child well being and their over all development. Also, I want my children to know that I am always there for them. Being present for my children is important to me and I know it makes a difference. They know without a doubt that they have my full support. Being a helicopter mom my motive is not to be controlling or intrusive in my children's lives. My motive is to love, protect and guide them. At the end of the day it's about having happy and healthy children.


Cons

So lets talk about the cons of being an "helicopter mom" The first con that I recognized right away is that being a helicopter parent can take away a child's independence. Doing everything for my children won't fly in the real world. They will need to learn to do things on their own, and navigate their way in the world. My children are teenagers now and I have to allow them to fly a little so that they can find their path in life. I am learning to give trust and give freedom while keeping a watchful eye from a distance (a short distance). Ultimately, I realized that micromanaging my children will discourage their creativity and their ideas, and can also cause a child to not motivated to do anything. I am not saying that I will give my children total freedom to do whatever, but I will loosen up and give my children more independence. Independence makes a child feel empowered, I want to encourage that. This motivates me to step back and trust.

Don't Panic!!!!!!
Everything will be alright!
A small dose of independence won't be the end of the world. It's in our nature as moms to panic about every little thing, but we too need to step out of our comfort zone. There are certain rules and circumstances that I will continue to be stern on, but there are a small few that I will compromise on in the spirit of independence. I am finding my way through parenthood one day at a time. Best wishes to you on your journey of parenthood! 

MOMMY BURN OUT!

                                                                     

















Moms, I am sure that many of you can relate to " mommy burn out"
This is something that I can relate to for sure!
Mommy burn out happens when we are not taking enough time for ourselves, we get so caught up in operating the "business" of being a mom, wife and many of us also work outside the home. It is easy to become tired and and burned out. Moms let's face it! We are over doers, we are always going above and beyond for our families even if it means over extending ourselves. We do it simply because we LOVE our families and we want to make them happy. We have the right motivation but perhaps we have the wrong tactics. We can't possibly give the best of ourselves if we are burned out. Sometimes we just need to sit down!!!!

There has to be a better way to get the job done while taking care of ourselves? 

What if we took five mins to sit down and have a cup of coffee?
What if we sat down for a few minutes to read that book?
What if we took a walk?
What if we took a nap?
What if we took the night off to go out and hang with friends?

WILL IT BE THE END OF THE WORLD IF WE ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING FOR OURSELVES????

Taking care of ourselves does not mean that we are being selfish.
Ignore anyone that "mom shame" you for having fun, we are moms but we still have a pulse, we have a life to live. At the end of the day we have to be alright, so that we can be there for our families.

I too am still working on taking time for myself, I am trying to be intentional in taking time for myself. I am making baby steps but I will be where I want to be if I just keep at it.

NO MOM SHAME OVER HERE!!! 

Laugh, smile and do something nice for yourself. You deserve it!   


Cassandra

A Mother's Journey

                                                                 
                                                   

                                                      Hello Moms! ✋✋✋



I know that you are busy mommin it right now, but take your shoes off, kick your feet up and read on.

A quick note about myself I am a mom of two from New Jersey!
I know everyone has a New Jersey joke 😊
It's alright, I am not offended at all I am use to it.

Any way, back to my introduction, I currently have two teenagers and they keep me on my toes.
My son is in his sophomore year of high school and my daughter is in her last year of middle school.
Time goes by fast, soon I will have two children in high school. Wow! I feel like the teenage years just sneaked up on me, but here we are. This transition into the teenage years has been a major learning experience, I am hanging in there. I am trying to cherish these days, because before I know it it will be time for my kids to go to college.

It's so much going on with teenagers, plus let's add cell phones and social media in the mix. I am trying to roll with the times and do the best I can as a parent. When it's all said and done the goal is to raise happy and healthy children. Also, to have children that will become adults equipped with the tools to navigate through life and make healthy independent decisions.

We are all on a different journey of motherhood, but I believe that the passion and love that we have for our children unites us all. Whatever phase of motherhood you are in right now know that you are not alone. You are doing the best that you can and that's all that matters. Take it easy on yourself!

Thanks for stopping by my blog, feel free to come back!

Cassandra